Backstabbing, he wrote

(The following story takes place in any publisher's office of any modern-day newspaper USA. While our story is a fictional one, parts of it are based on actual past events. No actual names have been used.)

The newspaper editor walked into the publisher's office, slowly closing the door behind him.

"The deed is done, sir," he said, his shifty eyes twitching behind his designer frames. "I fired the employee that griped about you changing vacation policy during a hurricane evacuation."

The publisher laughed and blew a smoke ring from his cigar that he wished he could have lit off of an employee's paycheck.

"Good," he said. "He needed to go. We should have fired him back when he actually stood up for himself and his family the first time. The little twerp! Ha, ha! The joke is on him! I didn't even include that policy in the new employee handbook!"

The editor's eye's widened.

"You don't think he actually read the new handbook, do you?" he asked.

"Of course not!" the publisher said, roaring with laughter. "Who actually reads the handbook? Bwhaa ha ha! So, what did you get the guy for?"

"Oh it was brilliant," the editor said, a sneer coming across his face. "I said that his termination was because he used a company computer to access a Web site, that he regularly posts on, on a day that all city, school, county and chamber offices in his coverage area were closed!"

The publisher let out a huge belly laugh, snorting a little at the thought.

"That was a genius move," he said. "I'm sure that everyone in the newsroom was doing things along the exact same lines that day! There was nothing for anyone to really work on that day!"

"Of course they were," the editor said, almost giddy with excitement now. "My employees use their company computers for personal things like checking their MySpace profiles, Facebook profiles, watching videos on YouTube, listening to music and sending and checking personal e-mails! I mean, they do it all the time!"

The publisher leaned back in his chair, propping his shiny, designer shoes up on the desk.

"Well, good work," he said. "Anytime an employee stops being a good, little robot we have to take measures like this to keep all the others in line. Do you think he'll file an appeal since this was an obvious case of harassment against him and only against him, since we know good and well that most everyone else here does what we fired him for?"

The editor chuckled.

"You really think that I'm worried about that?" he asked. "Oh please! Remember that time he posted a blog saying that he couldn't believe that professional reporters would say blatant untruths in the newsroom about a local organization in the area? We punished him instead and just swept it all under the rug! He knows better than to waste his time with an appeal by now."

The publisher nodded his head.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," he said. "So, I guess we are in the clear and have nothing to worry about from him anymore?"

"Of course," the editor said as he turned to walk out the door. "After all, he's just a humor writer now. Who'd believe him?"

"True," the publisher said. "So, I guess it's back to business as usual getting our reporters to write for print, online and shoot video all for the pay of only writing for newsprint?"

And with that, both the publisher and editor collapsed on the floor in uncontrollable laughter. But it was only funny to them...